John 16:33 is popping up EVERYWHERE in my life: "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
This is the piece of scripture I memorized for the Siesta Scripture Memory challenge on Feb 1, and since then I can't get away from it. If it's not being quoted directly, someone refers to it indirectly ("Remember, God never promised that our earthly life would be fair.") And when something gets repeated in my life this often, I take note.
I'm a pretty open-minded girl. I have my spiritual belief system, yes, and I read the Bible every day. But I don't stop there. I read non-Christian books, blogs, articles, etc. that speak to my soul as well. And this message is being repeated everywhere -- along with a directive.
This directive is transforming my life. You are a spiritual being in the material world -- keep your head in the spiritual world to keep the material world from weighing you down. Or, Be in this world, but not of it.
I know all of you have entered what I call "The Flow" in your lifetime. Whether it's while you're running, or during a yoga class, or in a meditation, or in deep prayer, or in the middle of a concert, or in the middle of a really good book -- you tap into something outside of yourself. Suddenly you are separate from all of your worldly issues. Anxiety disappears, you witness fear and anger from an outside vantage point, and you find deep peace.
This is the only way I got through the anniversary of our daughter's death. I didn't sink into the worldly pain of it. I kept the good memories forefront, and I let the worldly pain exist as separate from those good memories. That pain isn't my life. My daughter existed here, and now she exists as a memory and a promise. I will be with her again when my worldly life is done. The pain of loss is terrible -- but it is not me. I won't accept it as my identity. She was a gift, and she deserves to be remembered as such.
I sat with Jeremy last night and told him, For the first time in a year I feel excited. The future holds amazing gifts. Hero comes home this weekend (if the vet gives him a clear pass). My new business is full of promise. I'm attending Marie Forleo's B-School for 8 weeks to learn how to make this business all it can be -- and maybe to help others within my circle build their businesses too. My role with my day-job is transitioning into something that fits my skill-set and passions much better. It looks like Jeremy and I are going to Europe at the end of this summer. And I know, I just know, children are coming our way soon.
So I have a choice. I can adopt this material world and my problems within it as my identity -- making my grief, my anxiety over not getting pregnant, and the difficulty of building a new business the forefront of my waking thoughts. OR, I can stay in the spiritual flow of things and let my heart race in excitement for all the wonderful things coming my way.
In this world I will have trouble. But God has overcome this world -- and I want to be right there with Him. Overcoming.